i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize