so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize