So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Randomize
