Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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