His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
