didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Randomize
