I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
