What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
