okay pat passed out under dana's car
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I deserve this hangover.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
