I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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