thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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