is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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