i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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