I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
