I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
