at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
