..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
