As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
