How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
