Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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