i may or may not be watching the land before time
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Blood and glitter go together right?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
