This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Randomize
