you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
