Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
