she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
