I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
