Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
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