I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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