Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
