Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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