You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
