kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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