hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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