Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize