is your mom at the bar?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
