just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
