threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
