so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
