You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Dick very happy bro
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
