i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
My vagina is officially offended.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
