please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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