yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
