I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
