When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
