who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
