I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
