first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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