I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
