then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
