I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
