Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
