Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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