I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize