I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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