best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
