I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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