so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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