No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
