Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
