i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize