forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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