So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
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