we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize