I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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