garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
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