Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
