I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
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