Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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