You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
