Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
