that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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