Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
