It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
